18 July 2009

Desperately In Need of Packs of Enjoyments

I think I'm gonna do what my friend did last Monday. You know, it's simply just, uhm, walking around, come check out the town, with your casual outfit, like jeans and t-shirt, band t-shirt, and then like hanging out at some cozy... What we call it? Uhm, café? Yea, we can say it like that.

Okay. Hanging out at cozy café, drinking caffè latte, eating cookies. You know, it's very soothing... In a way, you can like liberate your imaginary mind, you know, you're fantasizing about... What? I don't know. Anything. Anything you like.

It's up to you, whether you wanna do it alone, by yourself, or you can invite your friends to join you. It is fine both ways. I mean I like it very much, hanging out with friends, I'll have a great time for sure, but I'd prefer to be alone in this time. And, yeah... You should try it sometimes!

07 June 2009

She Got Something To Say, Something Like This

I'm not trying to write love letter or something, because it suddenly makes me nauseous. Really, I hate it when I say it. Well, here it goes...

Every single thing that you do, your today cloth, your shoes... everything. I don't see with one eye closed. I could see you clearly. Your sweet smile... Oh, I laugh every time the feeling comes. I love to see you talk with others, or just ride your old bike. It's soothing, in a way. I don't know. I could care less about what people suggest for me. I kinda like it cause we're now at some hidden place where nobody can't tell about your negatives. It feels like I'm the only one. I love it though, really. I wish that today is long lasting. I like it right here. I love to see your face and its changing every second. You're funny little clown, totally silly. If people ask about who you are to me, I'd say the special unique one. Cause you know what? I always like being around you. You accompany me. I'm not lonely anymore cause I have you. Cheesy, maybe. I don't care, you know? I just wish the feelings will stay the same as it should. I know it's our story to tell. I like being here.

05 June 2009

"I'm going hunter", Björk said

It's January again and I don't feel quite well. New year, new start. That's what they always said to me.
My heart tells me not to take anything seriously. Just laugh, feel free, not to think about it.

I don't want to see your face again. I just don't. Cause everytime I try to forget about it, it gets along very well with my mind. That's how you want to live your life like. But not me. I don't do the yadda-yadda-bull!
Simply me and it's just me. Don't ever think I am not capable. I'm a tiny little army who thinks that all of it were just a to-do tasks on the wall. Do it, destroy it, and see what'd happen next.

Actually, I don't mind the result. I don't mind what would happen next. What would happen if I do this or that, bla bla bla, and so on. I will not regret on this, cause you're my hero. You're the one. And I tell you, it's getting better and better when you're around. It give me strenght and all to force the things inside my head.

Well, why don't you join me, Mister?

30 May 2009

Play Dead

Her head get dizzy. She takes some aspirin to get high.
My hands can't feel anything, she said. Then gazes at the ceiling.

There he sits. Smokes his cigs, crying. Cause nobody's around.
Wonders why is that, everything is so confusing.

I got you coffee. Just black, like you said.

The dope on that, she loves it. She needs caffeine in her everyday life.
Why do they make everything so complicated?

19 May 2009

Spontanious Thought: Naive, Selfish, Overrated

Why is that you always took pride in it? I don't think it's such a way, you know. Come on! Go look at yourself, quick. You shouldn't act that way. Maybe that's not you. I know you better than anyone else. You're like everything to me. Well, not that everything, but at least something. I thought you should listen to that. Don't get me wrong. I just hope for your own good.

18 May 2009

Lalala - Nouvelle Vague feat. Julie Delpy

Julie Delpy is very inspiring. I think her role as Celine in Before Sunrise and Before Sunset was herself. She was playing as herself in that movie. I see her personality as Julie Delpy in that character as Celine. Here is the lyric, Nouvelle Vague with Julie Delpy, 2 Days In Paris soundtrack, the other Julie Delpy' movie (I'd say she was playing as herself too in this movie!). I found it very interesting, I like it very much. I love her pronunciation. I admire her when she speaks in English.

I wanna dance like we used to
When it was pure when it was new
Love me whole like I love you
Wanna be free but free with you

I wanna dance like we used to
And not worry about you and me
We're gonna die of global warming
Or avian flu or quitting smoking

I want to stay for a while
Until it's time to let go
I'd like to really take my time
Explore all that comes to mind

I'd like to dance like we used to
Before the new world order rules
Don't wanna do what others do
Let's pretend there's no rules

I wanna dance like we used to
We're so lucky and so spoiled
You and I are such futile jobs
Let's stop acting like kings and queens

Then she starts to sing in French...

Je veux danser, comme on dansait
Quand tout était si doux et frais
Aime moi tout comme je t'aime toi
Je veux être libre mais libre avec toi

Je veux danser, comme on dansait
Sans s'inquieter de toi et moi
Nous sommes gâtés, nous sommes pourris
Nos occupations si futiles

You can download the song here

16 May 2009


"Because you were little snobby.", my friend said.
I don't know how to act naturally.

"I guess you should say hello back.", she said.
I swear, really, I don't know what to do. What should I do? I'm afraid of what I do, what I say. I want to do the right things. What if they don't know me?

"I doubt it. That's not going to happen. You used to chat, right?", again my friend said.
I know them, yes dear. But it was a long time ago. I guess they forget about me.

"You should say hi, I say. Really. Just to say hi.".
I guess, yeah I should. Just wait and see. Hey look, I still have their numbers!

"There you go! I'm sure they know you, they're still remember you.".
Yeah, well...

14 May 2009

Alone, Sometimes

I'm about to sit there, to talk to you some more
Blanket, the snacks
The crap we chat, sounds very interesting
How we all think with empty mind

Let's find a way to get out from here, my friend said
Well I kinda see some different things to that in anyway
Go find the luck within yourself, I don't want to bother

You seems nice
Figure I'd like to see everyday, right here everytime
You haven't change, that is good
Or just don't be, I like being here

13 May 2009

Comme ci, Comme ça

It was late, and I'm beyond. I can't escape. I'm walking through the maze. Not too far behind. Quite long, sometimes. But I never get the chance where people can dazzle. I feel like I'm a million miles away. Standing there, join you. I'm not good at it. Anything, anyone. Please, somebody... Anybody.

Oh this! Oh that! That's the clue! The thing doesn't even exist anymore. Found you find me. And others, I mean, you, to be exact. Nothing, I don't know. I would mind even if you're not supposed to do that.

It is not about me and you. That thing kinda haunts me, always. But not always, I shall say that loudly. Well, I guess. I bet. Slowing down things. The thing that kinda haunts me.

05 May 2009

That Is So Not Just A Promise

I was waiting for my lecturer, was about to discuss my works for the main subject.

"I just arrived at Bandung this morning."

I know I haven't done much for today. I've been busy doing nothing.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I'd do the best."

At least, please not today. Not today, not today, not even yesterday, oh and so not tomorrow.

01 May 2009

Obviously, My Dear...

"Well, I guess, this is the end of our friendship. I hate you already and you're not forgiven, man. You weren't done something right about this shit. You don't see me as your friend. Neither do I, from now on. I've done a lot for you and you give nothing but pain. Screw you, man! Screw you!"

"Please, Tre. You and Chag can't be enemy to each other. You're best pal since we were little. This is not about Chag and me, you see? It's all about I am to you. Why is that, Tre? I thought you would've understand what I meant earlier. Don't you remember, huh, Tre? I deserve to be happy. Not like this. God! You give me such a hard time. Why, Tre? Why? Why we ended up like this? Do you want all this? I can't find any good reason."

It's at 19:30. Period.

I wanted to get there soon
I miss my home
I miss the people

Yeah, today
The weather is not as friendly as my charming friend out there

I hate this
But I have to
Still, I don't like this

No I don't want to be there
I have to get so many things done
Wow the thing shocked me!

Oh I'm so going
Count me in!
I won't let y'll down

29 April 2009

Confessions, Candyboy, and Counterattack

"I'm sorry. It just happened and I didn't ignore it, okay? So sorry, Tre, I didn't mean it that way. I know we've been together since forever and you are eternally my favourite candy boy, you know that? And now you have to listen to me. You have to understand. I'm only 16, okay? Do not force me like that. I still wanted to see the world, the big beautiful world. And you... You know you do me no harm. You are such nice guy. You give me lots of pleasant surprises. That's wonderful. Thank you. I love it so much! Thanks, Treda."

"Hey! Hey! Why are you so angry, man? I thought we're cool with all this. Hey, I'm not the only one who's wrong, man! Geez! I can't believe it. You have to listen to me. Devra betrayed me and I don't deserve that, you see? Well, I'm sorry, cause maybe Glama is the girl. But... Hey! HEY! Settle down, man! I thought you and Glam are done. Right?"

A Street Poet In Vienna

So, I would like to make a deal with you. I mean, instead of just asking you for money, I will ask you for a word. Yeah, You give me a word, I take the word, and then, and then I will write a poem, with the word inside. And if you like it, I mean, if you like my poem, and you feel it adds something to your life in any way, then you can pay me whatever you feel like. I will write in English, of course.

Daydream delusion
Limousine eyelash
Oh baby with you pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet-cakes and milkshakes
I'm a delusion angel
I'm a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Lodged in life
Like branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I carry you
You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me?
Don't you know me by now?

taken from the movie, the guy Ethan Hawke in it

25 April 2009

There You Are

Must have been years since the last time I called your name
I remember who you with that time
Cellphone in hand
Dressed in black

I don't even know your voice
I don't know how you talk to people either
I don't know anything about you

I've always thinking about you
I do care about your online activity
I watch your Facebook page, like, everytime
Right, I stalk you
Yes, I do
Congratulations, Mr So-Called-Geeky-Yet-So-Artsy!
Way to go!

19 April 2009

A Very Casual Hi

Yes, I've been so-called busy with things. I went to places you don't know and hang around with none of your friends. So do you, perhaps. I stay at home when you go out to place when we anually meet. I'm awake, you're asleep. You're hungry, I'm full.

Hey boy, we usually share things together. We got tons of lie to tell, stories to sell. Nothing bothered. Ended up looking at the same path.

Well, I've been reaching you since days before yesterday. I called you but you're not even texting me back.

12 April 2009

Yesterday Note

Wake up with some stereo thriller screams on ears, reminds her of... Oh, what a feeling. How hard it could be, how easy it would be. It's so hard, I could burst my mind. But she just take it slow, just on her way. I give whatever she wanted.
"Not every single thing!", she said loudly.
"Maybe everything to you but not everything to me,". She'd never get enough.
Well, excuse me, Miss I-Super-Rule-The-World, your spoon is falling off of the table. You should go down, good luck finding it!

(the phone's ringing)

Who's calling? She wonder. Oh, this gonna makes all better! Not. She's wrong. Those words she heard, please, so disappointed. She wishes something more than that. Why me? Big question she wrote on the mirror in her room with red lipstick. Forget that. She just so happy but the call. The heck the call. I'm not even answer that. They wouldn't care about this unfinished things – the stepping stones? No, they don't. Only the result, they care.

09 April 2009

I Am No Longer Your Friend

"Hey, did you see Devra yesterday? She told me, Chaggio broke up with her. She won't tell what happen and tell me not to tell anyone. But now I tell you. So, pretend you know nothing, okay? I just thought you need to know, that's all."

"My relationship with Chaggio is over. I know... I know I've done wrong things to him but... I MISSED HIM A LOT WHEN HE'S AWAY!"
(crying) "I missed Chag so much... Oh, I'm so sorry. I really am sorry. I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Can I borrow your car? I need to go to The Pops. I heard their fish steak is, like, to die for. Hahaha. I'll be back by 11. Thanks, man! I owe you."

"What's up with Chag and Devra? Are they still together? Cause I saw Chag at The Pops the other day, alone with Glama."
"Yeah, they like a couple. Doing boyfriend-girlfriend thingy. Holding hands and stuffs."

"I don't know. It feels right and I don't want to change my mind."

08 April 2009


Just arrived there
Another phases, got to go through
Today is a new day, fill in the blank

05 April 2009

No Access

She woke up 9 am, found out her glasses under her hip, started the day by turning on the television, watching and not moving. How %#$^! she'd be when the computer frankly is not in the room.
11 am, staring at the clock. Still not moving. Planning everything inside her head.
Switch the channel; 06 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 50 - 55 - 62 - 61, sometimes 07.
Mom called. Messages from friends.
Boil some water, make a glass of milk. She is not a morning person. Blue mug with flowers on it. It's her friend's, she's already passed away.
Back to the channel 06. There it was, her favourite show on that channel that usually showed on tuesday.
Oh, computer, computer. Hear somebody laugh outside.

Remembering yesterday, oh how exciting.

Message not delivered, saved in unsent items.

03 April 2009

L'Alphalpha From Time To Time

is my most favourite thing


trans7 off-air event, Poin Square (jkt), 2007

photo session by Tangerine Green

Polyester Embassy Secret Garden Show, Common Room (bdg), 2007

Politeknik Bandung, 2007

Halomo, Galeri Kita (bdg), 2008

IN-TER-MIS-SION, Airplanesystm store (bdg), 2008

We Are Pop Vol.6, Solo & Jogja, 2008

Ildo's, 2008

no picture
Ruby and The Long Story lauching party, 2008

Through The Lense, Galeri Kita (bdg), 2008

We Are Pop Vol.7, Hey Folks! (jkt), 2009

Darmint Cafe (jkt), 2009

Maret Pertama Bahagia, Brewww Kemang, 2009

It's nice to share our dreams together

Hello (again) World

Brand nu Zed. That's what the story is all about!
Not so new, apparently. It's pretty much an old stuff.
And by 'Zed', I mean a personal computer designed for mobile use small enough to sit on one's lap. (wiki)

I am not even listen to that beautiful-insane-goodie-@#%$^&-independent band from Japan, you see?

30 March 2009

The Woman of Mystery

There was this couple who decided to go to Paris for weeks. The woman was trying to learn French by listening to French language tutorial on a tape, translated in English, hence the accent is all French.

Où est la station de métro la plus proche?
Where is the nearest subway station?

Ou est-ce que je peux acheter un billet?
Where can I buy a ticket?

The man just got home from the diner to buy something for breakfast that morning. He was sitting there, next to the woman.

“Hey! Listen to how good I’ve gotten”, the woman said.

Pouvez-vous me donner un plan de, s’il vous plaít?
Could I have a map of the subway, please?

She pushed the stop button and went,

“Could I have a map of the subway, please?” (with French accent, just like the speaker said)

“Impressive”, the man said.

“Right? I’m practically fluent. Ooh, thank you for the coffee and croissant.”

De rien.”

The woman was like, silent for a second, don’t know how to response.

“You’re welcome.”, the man said.

“…… Ahaha. Duh.”

“I thought our stomachs should start adjusting to french cuisine, so I got croissants and café au lait.”, the man said.

“I thought café au lait was spanish.”, the woman said.

“No, it’s french for 'coffee and milk'. Lait is milk.”

“Really? I thought it was ‘Café, Olé’, like, ‘Coffee! All right!”, she raised her thumbs up while saying ‘All right!’.

“…………… You’re kidding. You’re not kidding. You are. You’re kidding. I can’t tell whether you’re kidding.”

“I’m a woman of mystery.”

from the scene of most popular american tv series

29 March 2009

Strung Out

Sunday is always a lazy day for her. She had the same feeling, the same mood for sunday for this past two years, since she moved in to Bandung for so-called college. Wake up in the morning. Still in bed. Yawning. Oh, how she loves that soft and warmly blanket. She could stay, hiding inside that thing, forever.

Sunny sunday
Rainy sunday
... doesn't matter. It's always the same. Always the same.

Few messages, phone calls, and all that stuffs are companies. And, yeah... the internet is truly, eternally her best friend. Once the internet connection get troubled, she couldn't breathe. Wow, she haven't shut down the computer for, like, two days or so.

So much thoughts she keeps by herself. Written down, mostly. But she can't find it anywhere. Well, I must say, the room is a nightmare! She could care less about that, she can sleep comfortably on that. But not me. Gee, I can't help it. That's not so good and such a not-everyday-stuff. Pretty, maybe, but not in my point of view.